Tag Archives: learning

Excellence vs. perfection

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Photo by ryasaurus

For many students, last week was the most active week of school so far this semester.

Personally, I had two exams, six meetings, a short paper, extracurricular activities, and of course, homework for six classes!

Of primary concern, however, were the two exams. On any exam, I try to get 100% – every time. There’s just something about getting a question wrong that irks me. Maybe I feel defeated. Regardless, I try not to let it happen!

I’m sure you can see the negative implications of this already. Fortunately for me, this Thursday I got a valuable reminder from a well-respected elder of mine.

When he asked about my week, I told him about the two exams, and how I got a question or two wrong on one of them (out of 51). He could tell I was unhappy, frustrated, and acutely disappointed with this result. Then he said to me: “George – excellence, not perfection.”

What a great reminder! Honestly, sometimes I’m disappointed with a 99%. It just screams at me “You could have done better!” Maybe I could have. But the fact is, 99% is still pretty darn good, in my humble opinion.

Sometimes I fall short of perfection. But I still try my best. That’s life.

Perfection is a worthy ideal, a worthy pursuit, but falling short of perfection is not shameful. After all, no one has ever attained it, ever (except for Jesus – shout out!).

A notch below perfection is excellence, which is a worthy pursuit in itself, and also an attainable one. It’s a result we should be pleased with.

Pursuing perfection challenges and stretches us beyond our limits. But obsessing over perfection can be destructive. If excellence is attained on the way to perfection, be happy! That’s still success in my mind.

Photo by parylo00

Much to learn

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“The only thing I know is that I don’t know anything.” ~Socrates

When Socrates was alive, the Oracle at Delphi revealed that he was the wisest man in all of Athens. Socrates tried to disprove this, but realized the Oracle was correct. Not because he possessed unsurpassed knowledge, however. He was the wisest because he was the only one willing to admit that he knew nothing.

Photo by ihedgehog

Compared to what we could know, we all know nothing.

For example, there is more to learn about flowers than anybody could learn in a lifetime, even if they dedicated their whole life to learning about flowers. The same is true for any field, discipline, idea, concept, object, and so on. Even if we could learn everything, by the time we did, so much more knowledge would have been created that we’d need another lifetime to catch up!

There are millions upon millions of things that would each take a lifetime to fully understand. If we even come close to one, physics, for example, we are considered brilliant, a genius, expert, pundit, and so on. But even this is just a grain of sand on the beach of knowledge!

What does this mean?

Keep an open mind, and understand that there is always more to learn. If we assume we “know it all,” we inhibit the learning process. As the great philosopher Epictetus put it, “It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he has a conceit that he already knows.”

The opening quote by Socrates has been my motto in recent weeks, and it’s been refreshingly liberating, to say the least. Sometimes there is so much pressure to have the answers in life, to be right, to understand things. My mind becomes tumultuous whenever uncertainty overcomes me, and it demands “Give me an answer!” Now I just reply “Look, I don’t know anything! Relax!”

If the matter is something important or relevant to us, we should seek answers, of course, but it’s also important to realize that sometimes it is OKAY not to have an answer. We don’t always have to know. We don’t always have to be right. After all, even Socrates didn’t know anything!

Photo by CathyK

Feeding your mind

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Just as our body needs food, our mind needs food too. Fortunately, there is a wide range of food for both!

Photo by julosstock

Similar to the body, malnourishment of the mind won’t lead to disaster on the first day. Fast-food two days in a row doesn’t give anyone a heart attack. A Hershey bar every day for a month won’t be noticeable at the end of it. “But just because disaster doesn’t strike at the end of the first day doesn’t mean it isn’t coming.” ~Jim Rohn

If we are feeding our mind the equivalent of mental fast-food, it’s only a matter of time before disaster strikes. When we need the imagination, ideas, inspiration, creativity, knowledge, wisdom, and expertise to save us, it won’t be there. And just like too many unhealthy food choices, the journey to recovery is much harder than a little maintenance along the way.

Feed your mind Grade A, challenging, and stimulating material. Let your mind grow and expand. Learn ideas. Ideas are the seeds from which everything in your life grows. Don’t deprive yourself of ideas.

Is it okay to give your mind “junk food” once in a while? Well, I don’t know. Here’s what comes to mind when I think of that: “Sometimes you can find something valuable in a trashy novel, but I wouldn’t go through it to find it. You can find a crust of bread in a garbage can but I wouldn’t go through it!” ~Jim Rohn

I think the mind is more important than the body, because the mind controls our body, and is in control of how we choose to nourish our bodies. Even Stephen Hawking, whose body is of little function, has used his mind to inspire millions of people and generate revolutionary ideas.

Photo by Henkster

“Pity the man who has a favorite restaurant, but not a favorite thinker. He’s picked out a favorite place to feed his body but doesn’t have a favorite place to feed his mind.” ~Jim Rohn.

Who is your favorite thinker? Where do you go for ideas, intellectual food, mental expansion, and philosophical inquiry? Please don’t say “Cosmopolitan magazine!” That’s the mental equivalent of eating mayonnaise straight out of the jar! (personal opinion)

You have to eat food, but you can change what you eat. Your mind has to consume, but you can change what it consumes. You can fill it will trash or treasure, that is up to you. And be on watch for people who try to fill it for you, as they may not have your best interest in mind.

If you plant roses, roses will grow, but don’t expect roses if you don’t plant them. Plant the right seeds in your mind. Feed it the right food.

Photo by k_vohsen

Learn while you commute

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Travel time can be wildly beneficial to us if we invest it properly. Instead of dreading travel, it can actually be one of the most fulfilling things we do.

Photo by ziptrivia

According to a 2009 survey by the Census Bureau, the average daily commute to work is 25 minutes. This equates to 250 minutes a week and 12,500 minutes a year (with 2 weeks vacation), or 208 hours. That’s more than five 40-hour work weeks just commuting to work! Add in all the time we travel to see friends, family, go to the movies, grocery shop, and so on, and it becomes astronomical.

I use to drive my car and listen to the radio, or perhaps nothing, and just let the time pass. A little over a year ago, however, I heard Brian Tracy suggest that we can turn our cars into “universities on wheels.” To do this, we could listen to something educational or helpful in relation to our goals.

Photo by ambrozjo

There are audio CD’s on sales, public relations, health, wellness, personal development, spirituality, personal growth, investing, time management, budgeting, relationships, communication, decision making, and just about anything you can imagine. Imagine spending 208 hours on one of those topics…time that would pass anyway. How much would it help you?

I drove 9 hours recently between home and school and listened to Jim Rohn’s “The Art of Exceptional Living” for the whole nine hours. I finished the program and got halfway through it a second time. In my opinion, he is the best personal development speaker of all-time, and I got his advice for nine hours…time that would have passed anyway!

This doesn’t mean you have to turn off music. I listen to a Christian artist, Lecrae, almost every day in the car. His music isn’t just inspiring; his songs are like mini sermons. I’ve memorized most of them already, and constantly find myself singing the lyrics to help me through life. This one CD has contributed monumentally to my spiritual growth, almost more than anything else, and I only listen to it in the car. Time that would pass anyway!

Photo by mzacha

As a final example, I take a bus several times a day to and from campus. The first week I just patiently waited for the bus to arrive and then sat quietly until the ride ended. Upon realizing how much time this consumes I changed my system immediately. Now I read at the bus stop and on the bus, too. Just this week I’ve read over 100 pages like this…time that would have passed anyway.

Here a recap and some more ideas:

1: Listen to audio CD’s in your car. CD’s on sales, growth, nutrition, public relations, investing, decision making, relationships, communication, parenting, speaking, happiness, or whatever you’d like. If you’re curious about it, there’s an audio CD on it!

1.5: Listen to audio CD’s on your ipod. Walking to class? Don’t like to read on the bus? Use your mp3 player to feed you the fuel as you need it.

2: Read while you’re waiting. Keep a book with you. How often are you waiting for a ride, a bus, train, or cab to come? When you have a few minutes, read something inspiring, educational, helpful, intriguing, or thought-provoking! A page here, a page there, a few pages here, a few pages there, and you’ll read a dozen books in a year.

3. Read on the bus/train/subway/cab. This makes some people queasy, but if you’re not one of them, there’s a whole lot of time here for you to work with.

Have any suggestions on how we can turn our commutes into time for learning? I’d love to know what has worked for you, please share below!

Handling change

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Photo by ba1969

A lot of change is currently happening my life. I’m “starting a new chapter,” to say the least.

I’m actually starting about four or five new chapters all at the same time, and quite frankly, it’s a little intimidating.

I wish they were short, easy chapters too. In reality, they’re the exact opposite: a new school year, a new leadership position, a break in a long relationship, a health/wellness plan, a spiritual development quest, and an independent living arrangement.

It’s hard for me to adjust to all of this. And it’s hard not to doubt myself and feel incapable from time to time. Change can be scary (can you relate?). A lot of change all at once…can be terrifying.

To help myself boldly turn the page and begin these new chapters, I have to deliberately coach myself. If I don’t, I start to worry and my mind wanders, sometimes whispering to me, “You’re in over my head.”

In these moments I remind myself that change can be good. In fact, it’s often an improvement. I remind myself that it’s making me stronger. I remind myself that I have friends and family who love and support me. I remind myself that I am strong enough, smart enough, and resilient enough to effectively handle anything.

Lastly, I remind myself that keeping a positive outlook is imperative. “Your outlook on what could or should happen will determine your willingness to work hard now.” ~Jeffrey Gitomer.

If we don’t truly believe that good can come from change we lose our motivation and enthusiasm to face it. This perpetuates our resistance to it and prevents us from actualizing the benefits.

For most, worry is concomitant with change. I’m struggling with this, too. But growth, knowledge, and experience are also concomitant with change, and those will be my focus.

Photo by cyborg1us

Sometimes, growth hurts

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The journey of personal growth is not always an easy one.

Sometimes we grow through positive, happy experiences, but other times we grow through an experience that causes us pain, distress, sorrow, sweat, and tears.

On a literal level, kids experience growing pains as their muscles and bones develop. It’s painful and often accompanied by tears of helplessness, but the pain is necessary for some kids to grow to their full adult size.

Photo by wgroesel

Break-ups often leave both parties in pain. There may be confusion, heartbreak, sorrow, regret, longing, and so on. But the weakness is only temporary. After time, and with the benefit of hindsight, most people will agree that they grew and learned from the relationship and separation. It hurts, but it’s growth.

Exercise is the same way. If you’re truly challenging yourself with push-ups, sit-ups, bench press, running, pull-ups, planks, and so on, you will feel pain. But pain is growth (use discretion, of course). If you do two push-ups right now, you won’t feel pain. But you also won’t get stronger. If you do 100 push-ups right now, I guarantee you’ll feel pain, but I also guarantee you will get stronger.

When my parents dropped me off at college for the first time, and my mom yelled out the window, tears in her eyes, how much she loved me, I cried a bit too. It was sad and hard for me to be away from my family. I was homesick many times before returning home for Thanksgiving. It hurt, but I grew.

Photo by eqphotolog

Death can be the worst. I’ve been to several funerals now, and the loss of a loved one or friend can be shattering. The first funeral I went to I didn’t understand why many adults weren’t crying. I thought, “Don’t they care?” Looking back, I realize that they did care, but their experience, past funeral visits, and exposures to death had made them stronger, understand better, and cope more easily. Their pain may have been indescribable along the way, but they grew.

The relationship between growth and pain may not fit the “happy and uplifting” motif I usually go for, but recent events in my life have put this on my heart to share with you. Despite how difficult an experience may be, I think it becomes a little more bearable when we consider it an opportunity for growth and building of our character.

If you are struggling through something right now, I wish you all the best and pray it will work to your benefit in the end. Keep going, tomorrow is a new day.

It’s not what you learn, it’s what you implement

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Knowledge is like horsepower in a car. The more of it we have, the more potential power at our fingertips.

Every book we read, class we take, seminar we attend, or conference we go to adds to that horsepower. Every new idea brings with it the potential to change our lives, alter our paths, or point us in a new direction.

Photo by lusi

But an idea is only potential. A great idea never implemented is worth no more than your favorite soup recipe.

Who would win in a race, a 600-horsepower Lamborghini or a 140-horsepower Honda Civic? It depends. Certainly the Lamborghini has the potential to win, and should win, but if the driver presses the gas gently while the Civic driver slams his, the Lamborghini might actually lose.

So it’s not just about how much potential we have, it’s about how much of it we use!

I advocate any type of knowledge acquisition. I’ll preach the importance of reading books, taking classes, and life-long learning to anyone who will listen. But today I’m challenging us to use the horsepower already in our engines. Push on the gas! Take what you’ve learned and implement it!

What great ideas are you waiting to act upon? What three things have you learned from your last book, conference, seminar, or article that you could start implementing in your life today?

There is so much potential inside of you right now, so many great ideas that could radically change your life for the better. They are just waiting for you to call upon them!

You already have the horsepower, now push on the gas!

Photo by lazydog

Find the bright side

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“It is very rare or almost impossible that an event can be negative from all points of view.” ~Dalai Lama

This quote states a powerful truth: The way we look at things changes what we see, and oftentimes, at least one of the available perspectives is positive in nature.

Here’s a quick story to illustrate this in a semi-silly way:

I’m staying at a hotel for four nights and have a room with two queen beds. Two queen beds? But I’m alone! Apparently that didn’t matter; they were out of king bed rooms when I arrived. I guess my reservation of “1 adult 0 guests” was unclear!

My favorite part of hotels, by far, is staying in a king size bed. I love to sleep in the “starfish” position and I love being able to roll once or twice without falling off. Hey, I have a twin bed at home. Hotels are that special time when my feet don’t hang off!

Accordingly, I was looking forward to four nights in sleep-heaven. I had a skip in my step and a jolly tune in my head as I arrived at the hotel. It was just past midnight and I was exhausted from hours of travel. Understandably, the bad news about the beds was minutely disappointing. Nonetheless, I accepted my fate and was over it quickly (but still not excited).

Soon, however, I found two bright sides to my situation that made me feel lucky.

First: A second bed is a great place to put things. My backpack, laptop, extra pillows, and suitcase all reside on that bed. It’s such a convenient height and location in the room!

Second: The cleaning staff think that two people are in the room, so for the last two nights I’ve received two pieces of chocolate instead of one! And I still have one more night of double chocolate. Boom! Bright side.

Remember, any situation has a bright side. Some have many. On the same token, any situation has a down side. Some have many. But which side will you focus on?

I challenge you not to focus on the side that says “this bed is just a tad too small” but on the side that says “I get double chocolate every night!”

Find the bright side. It’s there. I promise :)

Photo by thea0211

Bad experience?

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Bad experience? We can all relate to that one.

Did someone lie to you? Anger you? Did you get ripped off, kicked while you were down, or just plain ignored? Client trouble? Financial mistake? Relationship gone wrong?

On the bright side, that means you’re alive. Phew! (Sigh of relief.)

(Probably after a very bad experience!)

On the not-so-bright side, bad experiences stink. They can spoil a good mood, ruin an entire evening, and even jeopardize relationships. Yikes!

But there IS a bright side. If we change our perspective just a little bit, we can see that bad experiences come as a package deal: bad stuff on top with a lighter dose of good stuff underneath. Can you see the good stuff?

You know the bad stuff. The bad stuff is the experience itself. The unpleasant, distasteful, upsetting, confusing, saddening, disheartening experience you now recollect: The mean coworker. The bullies. The camping fiasco. You know about those. But let me share the good stuff:

First, each bad experience brings individual growth through learning. You grew a little bit because of that experience. You stand a little taller. You’re a little stronger. You’re a little wiser. If you find yourself in a similar situation, now you know how to react. Maybe now you can avoid it in the first place. You probably learned some valuable lessons along the way, too.

Who knows…maybe you even got off easy. For example, I was scammed twice in the same year while online shopping. Combined, I lost $150 buying from complete frauds. But because of this…I learned not to buy from disreputable sellers and to do my homework before making a purchase. That lesson cost me $150. Some people learn that same lesson after they lose $100,000. I got a good deal!

The second silver lining that comes with each bad experience is the ability to help other people. You now know something you didn’t know before, something that many people could benefit from.

Did a mechanic rip you off? Tell your friends; spread the word. You can help someone avoid the same dissatisfaction (don’t you wish someone told you?).

Did a relationship end badly? Use what you’ve learned to help others in similar relationships. Maybe they just need to talk to someone who has “been there”. Now you have “been there”!

Did an employer fire you unfairly? Tell people how to protect themselves from similar situations.

You see, the best chefs/teachers/friends/lawyers/plumbers/golfers/authors/gardeners are the best because they’ve experienced the good and the bad. Thus, they’re well rounded. They can handle adversity and even counsel others. That only comes from experience, good and bad, and they’ve learned to capitalize upon both!

Next time you have a bad experience, remember: it’s not 100% bad. You’ve still learned something, and now you have one more experience that can be used to help others.

Keep your chin up, smile, and keep moving forward. A good experience is right around the corner!

First photo by catalin82. Second photo by sebileakc

Leave your mark

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In the grand scheme of things, our existence is just a tiny blip on the timeline of history. Even one hundred years, which seems significant to us (and is more than enough time to have great, great, grandkids), is just an eye blink for the earth. But this doesn’t mean we’re insignificant. Every human being who has ever lived has had the same seemingly short existence. Of course, some live longer than others, but we’re all temporary visitors nonetheless.

I think this creates a wonderful opportunity for us to do something special. To do something that somehow says “Hey, I was here. I made a difference.” We don’t all need to be radically-minded world changers, but I do think we should all find a way to make a difference – to somehow contribute to our fellow man. Even if it’s just in the life of one person, a little contribution can go a long way.

As I was hiking recently I saw the rock structure pictured below. I thought it was the coolest thing, not because it was a free standing piece of art, but because I will never know who made it. Someone hiking the path decided to create something that other hikers would see. It made clear that someone had come before us. Someone’s hand had touched the earth in that very spot. Just by adding a human touch, one hiker made that spot a little more special than it was before. Maybe I’m weird, but I thought that was so cool!

I think we should all strive to do something similar. We’re going to leave a mark either way, no matter what we do. The people who come after us will notice our impact, our contribution, our existence. Maybe not everyone, but surely some will. It will either be through the lives we influence, which in turn will influence other lives, or though the physical stamps we make – buying a home, developing land, planting a garden, and so on. It is our responsibility to make sure that the mark we leave is a contribution, not a burden, upon those who follow. I think it is equally as important that the mark we leave is congruent with who we are. What values do you want to be known for taking a stand for? What kinds of projects do you want to be known for starting? What messages do you want to leave behind? What will be your legacy? These are some fun questions to help generate meaningful answers.

Even if we regret some of the marks we’ve left in the past, today is a new day. And tomorrow will be another! It’s never too late to make a new one. It’s never too late to add to an old one. It’s never too late to find some way to make a difference. The opportunities are endless. Just find something you care about, and leave it a little better than when you arrived! You can do it :)

Small group, big impact

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This semester I was fortunate enough to participate in a discussion group as part of a class. The class itself had 750 students, but each discussion group only had about 15. Needless to say, it was conducive to relaxed, informal, and sometimes personal conversations that would likely not happen in a room full of 750 people. We met once a week and generally discussed things related to class, but it wasn’t unusual to digress completely and talk about random (yet still important) aspects of life.

Within the first few meetings, a few people spoke up with ease but many of us were still “testing the waters”. Over time, however, we all grew comfortable with each other and were able to contribute meaningfully to the conversations.

At our last meeting of the semester, we did an activity with nothing but a big red ball of yarn. We were sitting in our usual circle and one person at a time would respond to a prompt (for example, “who has grown the most this semester…”, “who has challenged you the most…”, etc.). The person answering the question, who had the ball of yarn, would pass it to the person who they thought fit the prompt. There was a quick explanation of why that person was chosen, and the game continued.

At the end of this activity, everyone had gotten the ball of yarn several times and the center of the circle was completely filled by a web.

Not only was it an enjoyable way to spend the class, but I think it was a profound lesson in human connectedness. Fifteen weeks ago we were all unaware of each others’ existence. We may have passed each other on the street without thinking twice. We may have stereotyped each other. We may have even ignored each other. But just put people in a room and allow them to talk, allow them to be human together, and all of a sudden a bond starts to grow, like a seed. Bring those same people back once a week for a whole semester and that seed just grows and grows.

An important thing I’ve learned from this experience is that people are amazing. Just within this small group, everyone could listen with a friendly ear. We could all sympathize, relate, and even understand our different perspectives. We all had something to say. We all had some idea, experience, or insight that we could offer our fellow classmates. I find this so humbling. People are amazing. People are unique. People care, and people want to be cared for. People know that we’re all in this together. And most importantly, people are people. They’re just humans, living their lives, thirsting for some compassion and meaningful interactions. And when you get past the surface of someone, you realize just how connected you really are, and ultimately, how connected we all are, to each other.

This whole semester of discussion group was amazing, and I’d like to just say thank you to my entire group. Thank you for being a part of my life, and thank you for sharing a part of your life with me. I learned a lot from each and every one of you, and I truly hope we will meet up again in the future. Thank you for being receptive to my thoughts, and thank you for trusting me to be receptive to yours. You are all amazing people, and I wish you the very best of luck in all that you do. Hope to see you around :)

~George

Photo by sachyn

15 notes on learning and education

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This past Friday I visited New York City to attend Skillshare’s first ever Penny Conference. Skillshare is a “community marketplace” where people can learn “anything from anyone”, and this conference was based on education.

A lot of cool ideas, themes, and messages were conveyed at this event and I thought I’d share some with you. The speakers’ ideas reiterated, challenged, or even sparked my own ideas, so what you’ll see below is a synthesis of the two.

1) Knowledge is ubiquitous. Everywhere we look there is something to be learned. There doesn’t even need to be a teacher present; we can learn from the trees, a river, or even our pet fish. Messages and knowledge cannot be avoided but they can be missed. Tune in to all the knowledge around you. Keep an open mind.

2) Knowledge is a free commodity. We learn from our interactions, relationships, experiences, and so on. Often, it’s free! In fact, some of the best lessons in life are free. It’s just about tuning in to the resources around us and expecting to walk away from the encounter with more ideas than we entered with.

3) Schools shouldn’t punish mistakes. In our education system, “failing” has a rather negative connotation. With failing, however, comes growth. Failing brings knowledge. Failing brings experience. If we teach kids that failing is bad, to be feared, or avoided, we are then keeping them from fully learning.

4) Active learning, not just passive. Let’s be honest, sometimes our minds wander when we sit around and just listen to people talk. Especially if we’re not particularly interested in the subject matter. Active learning is a great way to help with focus and attention, but also with creating identity and purpose among a group of individuals.

5) “There is no excuse not to be better.” One of the speakers used this expression after mentioning that we have “more people, more expertise, and more connectivity than ever before.” I love this little expression. I think it makes a good point, too. We can do just about anything we want with all the resources available to us. If we want to change the world, there’s no reason why we can’t!

6) Experts are great sources of knowledge. The speaker who said this learned how to write a book primarily by asking advice of people who had already written books. How easy is that? On almost any subject imaginable, there are experts and wild fanatics who are eager to share their knowledge. In fact, many of them do (through books/teachings/blogs/etc). Your job is to find the people who have the answers you need and just ask them the right questions.

7) Everyone is a teacher; everyone is a learner. You are a teacher! Or at least – you could be. You have some piece of knowledge, advice, or experience that you could share with me right now that I’d benefit from. Maybe you can knit, skateboard, or throw a frisbee really well. Maybe you have years of relationship experience. Whatever knowledge and/or skills you have, any time you share them – you are teaching. On the other end of the spectrum, every single thing that happens to you is an opportunity for learning and growth. Learn all you can from everything and anyone that you can. The coolest thing is, then you’ll have more to teach!

8) Share what you know. Your voice matters. There is someone out there right now who could use your advice/knowledge that would radically impact their lives. Don’t keep the precious gems in your brain all to yourself, share them and create a learning community.

9) We can learn a lot from kids. This was addressed primarily by Adora Svitak, who actually spoke at TED on this subject. Although her talk from this past Friday was different, watch her TEDTalk here for more information on this one.

10) We can learn from video games. The key idea here was that video games contain a narrative, a captivating story that gives us more than enough motivation to fight valiantly until the end. Now, what if that kind of purpose and drive could be paralled in education? A really cool talk on the subject was given by Jane McGonigal at TED, actually. Check it out here.

11) Learning is personal, not a competition. We don’t have to fight about who knows more or whose brain is bigger. But what we can do is work together, help each other out, and create a true learning environment. Competition leads to hoarding of ideas. It’s the whole “I’m going to hide my ideas so you can’t steal them” approach. The drawback of this is that we need ideas to spark new ideas. 

12) Analyze. “Interact, absorb, see, and write things down.” Don’t just take things as they are but really think about them. Do some mental work! Not only will it help information stick (in your brain), but it will also spark ideas and new perspectives.

13) Learn by doing. Be active in the learning process. Sitting in a classroom is okay, but getting involved is often even better. Find ways to test out what you’re learning. I remember “learning” how to drive a manual transmission car in driver’s education class. We learned by reading a book, and it might as well have been written in Chinese. The real way I learned was by getting behind the wheel of a car and stalling ten million (that’s an accurate number) times, to the dismay of my stomach, head, and ego. But hey, failing is a part of the process, as mentioned before. 

14) Education creates opportunity. In order to use what we know, first we must know. Knowledge truly is power, and with it we can forge any path we want. But it takes more than just motivation. After all, no matter how motivated you are, it’s nearly impossible to cut down a tree with a tissue. You need tools, of which knowledge is one, and the knowledge of how to use them properly and efficiently. With a solid foundation of knowledge, anything is possible and any opportunity can be capitalized upon. 

15) Ideas have weight. One of my favorite quotes is by Victor Hugo, who says, “Nothing is as powerful as an idea whose time has come.” I love it! Ideas have power, as he suggests. They’re not just empty thoughts skipping gleefully through our conscience, hanging out, doing nothing. They are real, tangible things, just waiting to spring into action! They are a force. They are an impetus. They are potential for greatness. Never underestimate an idea. Instead, nurture it, care for it, help it grow, help it develop, and when the time is right, release it and watch amazing things happen.

~~~~~

On a side note, I certainly couldn’t visit New York without being a little “touristy”. He are some pictures from the day after the conference before we left for home.

Below: At Planet Hollywood…awesome place!

Below: Inside ToysRus in Times Square. Ferris wheel in the store?! No big deal.

Below: Keeping it classy. Like Elvis. And the M&M guy.

Who do you listen to?

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Everyone spends time on the receiving end of advice and criticism. Whether it be from parents, friends, coworkers, teachers, professors, authors, or maybe just the media, there is no shortage of advice on the right way to live our lives.

Sometimes advice comes gently packaged in nice wrapping paper, other times it can be thrown in our faces fresh out of the oven. Sometimes it can be accurate advice from an informed source, other times it can be ignorant dribble with no actual value. Sometimes it’s from people we admire and look up to, other times it’s from people who we don’t particularly like. One thing is for certain, though: it is much easier to be on the receiving end of advice when we think critically about it’s overall quality.

Advice that comes politely from someone we admire, who is particularly well informed about the topic, is generally worthy of our consideration. For example: Lance Armstrong giving tips on riding a bicycle. However, if he did it in a belittling, insulting way, all of a sudden it might not be as welcomed. Or, on the other hand, if someone who has never ridden a bike before gives us advice, it wouldn’t make much sense to listen to them. Lastly, if our arch nemesis tries to give us a few pointers, we might turn off our ears before they even start, which could indeed be a good idea.

But I think the most important things to consider when receiving advice are the other person’s intentions, credibility, and your level of esteem for them. 

Intentions: Advice is best when it comes from people who have our best interests in mind – not theirs. Are they telling you not to get a job because they want to have a higher status than you? Do they want you to succeed, but just not as much as them? Are their intentions selfish? For example, do they want you to keep smoking because if you quit they’ll be the only one left? Are they advising you because they genuinely want to help…or are they doing it to show off how smart they are? All these things must be considered before we can really know how sincere someone’s help is. Fortunately, this can be pretty easy to discern in a few seconds, especially if we know the person.

Credibility: Can the advice-giver back it up? Have they been “down that road before” or at least studied the subject at hand? If our ultimate goal is success (in whatever area we’d like to imagine), we need to eliminate things slowing us down. One thing that slows a lot of people down is ill-directed advice. People saying “do this, do that, trust me, it’ll work” may not always be as certain as they sound. Examine their accolades, expertise, and experience before deciding to jump at their advice.

Level of esteem: This is probably the most important one for teens and young adults. Why? Peer pressure. And sometimes, peer pressure from people we don’t even like. It’s always upsetting to hear a story about how someone did something they didn’t want to do, in order to please someone they didn’t even like. Personally, a lot of people (especially in the young adult demographic) don’t approve of how I live my life. I don’t drink, smoke, or party, and I read and write for fun. I love school and learning. I believe in relationships and don’t support “hooks up”. Do I receive a ton of flak for this? You bet. Do I care? No. Why? Because the people who I actually look up to approve of my lifestyle. And so what if some people don’t? I don’t need to impress people whose opinions don’t matter to me. I don’t need to take their advice. I look up to people who tell me to do the opposite of what they tell me. Guess whose advice I’m going to take? At the end of the day, I have my own approval (most important), the approval of people I admire (pretty important) and no approval from people who just have a different set of values from me (least important). Final result: I rest easy. So my advice here is to really look at the person giving you advice and ask yourself “Is it worth it to impress this person? Do I really want their approval?”

To conclude, there are many advice-givers out there: friends, family members, professors, teachers, coaches, and so on. Often, advice is unavoidable. Sometimes, it’s unsolicited. But a wise man heeds advice, so heed it! Pay attention to it, let them say what’s on their mind, but never just take it at that. Not before assuring yourself that they have good intentions, a solid credibility, and are worthy of your esteem. That is not to say a person you despise can’t give great advice, but always keep in mind whose opinions really matter to you.

“To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.” ~Wilson Mizner

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Study the leaders

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From all the authors and speakers I’ve heard discuss success, this is perhaps the single best piece of advice I’ve come across: study the leaders. Especially if you want to be the best at what you do, or even just become better at what you do, I think this is essential.

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Imagine having a conversation with someone who tells you they want to be the best quarterback of all-time. You might respond to this ambitious goal by saying “Wow, so you mean even better than Joe Montana?” Now, let’s pretend this person looks at you with a confused face and asks, “Who? I haven’t heard of that guy.”

You would be completely flabbergasted. You might respond by saying, “Well, surely you at least know who Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers, and Drew Brees are.” Once again, let’s pretend this person becomes incredibly confused and asks, “Who?!”

At this point, you might not even know what to say. You would probably ask yourself, “How can this person want to be the best quarterback of all-time yet not know who the best quarterbacks of the past or even the present are?” It wouldn’t make sense.

Naturally, anybody who wants to be a great quarterback knows all the other great quarterbacks. He knows who they are, what team they play for, what their style is, what their philosophy is, what their training regimen is, and so on. Most people would agree that an aspiring quarterback should know these things.

Now, let’s generalize this example. I believe that any aspiring individual should know these things as well. An aspiring accountant should know all the “top dogs” in accounting, what books they’ve written, schools they attended, projects they’re involved with, and so on. An aspiring author should know all the top authors, the best-sellers, what their books are about, and what their styles are. An aspiring teacher should know the leading educators, educational innovators, and the top school systems.

Awareness of these things, derived from studying the leaders, yields several great benefits:

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First, we are inundated with great ideas and advice. Leaders are leaders for a reason: either they are incredibly smart, savvy, innovative, creative, hard-working, charismatic, or visionary. Even if we can’t converse with these leaders directly, becoming familiar with them and their teachings/ideas will be worth its weight in gold. A Chinese proverb says, “A single conversation with a wise man is better than ten years of study.” In other words, find the people with the answers and just ask them the right questions.

Second, we can shorten the learning curve. Most leaders in their fields, whether it be health, fitness, speaking, teaching, accounting, management, leadership, sports, chemistry, etc., have written books and/or speak on the subject. Many times they point out exactly what originally kept them from becoming a leader and what propelled them to later become a leader. Knowing this can keep us from making the same mistakes, or, can aid us in making the same good decisions.

Third, we have an idea of what’s possible, even if we never plan to duplicate it. When Roger Bannister broke the 4-minute mile for the first time in history, 16 other people broke the same barrier within 3.5 years. For a while, it wasn’t thought possible, but once it “became” possible, all of a sudden people could do it. By knowing what the leaders are up to and what they’re accomplishing, it makes us aware of the possibilities, which we can then adapt, surpass, or just keep in mind as we forge our own paths.

I encourage everyone to look up and study at least 5 leaders in whichever field they are most interested. Arrive at the point where you could answer the question “Who are the biggest names in that field?” with a list of people in just a few seconds. Depending on who you look up, you could even try to get in contact with them, and perhaps they’ll respond! This will undoubtedly provide many benefits and bring you closer to becoming a leader yourself!

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A quote from Larry Winget, the Pitbull of Personal Development, sums up this post pretty well: “Do you think Target and KMart don’t know what Walmart does? Do you think US Air doesn’t know what Southwest is doing? People who are serious about the business they are in study the other leaders in the business.”

Study away :)

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Bad luck or bad choices?

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Bad luck is often an excuse for complications in life. Occasionally, this excuse is valid: bad luck does make things go wrong (sometimes). More often than not, however, I think bad luck is confused with bad choices.

Why would we blame bad luck? Mainly because of pride and ego. Nobody likes to be wrong, and nobody wants to be embarrassed, ashamed, or disappointed in themselves. Simply put, if we hold ourselves responsible and accountable for our actions, we risk being overwhelmed with these troubling feelings. By blaming external forces for our troubles, we avoid feeling responsible and thus avoid the unpleasantness of finding faults within ourselves. Unfortunately, doing this will keep us from growing and learning from our mistakes.

Luck is independent from our choices and desires. Bad luck is something we couldn’t have reasonably avoided. Below are some examples to clarify the differences between bad luck and bad choices.

Example 1: If a cop pulls you over mistakenly, and as a result you are late for work, that’s bad luck. You could not have expected it or avoided it. If a cop pulls you over because you were going 15mph over the limit, however, that’s a bad choice. You knew the risks, don’t blame luck.

Example 2: If you’re fired by a company that is downsizing or changes its needs, that’s bad luck. If you’re fired because you showed up late, disrespected the boss, left early, slacked off, or didn’t do the required work, you made bad choices.

Example 3: If you fail a test because the questions were written in a foreign language, that’s bad luck (and totally unfair – unless it’s a foreign language exam). If you fail a test because you didn’t study hard enough, that’s a bad choice.

In the end, it all comes down to personal responsibility. The truth is, we are responsible for whatever happens in our lives, both the good and the bad. Most people will only claim responsibility for the good things, though, and blame the bad things on other factors (bad luck being just one of them). In the words of Larry Winget, Few people will turn to themselves to take responsibility for their results until they have exhausted all opportunities to blame someone else.

My Social Psychology professor once said in class, “It’s not possible that everything bad in your life has nothing to do with your decisions.” This is my point exactly. Some bad things come from our bad decisions; will we recognize them or look the other way?

A close friend of mine recently got into big trouble with the law. He blamed bad luck more than anything else. I reminded him that different actions and different decisions could have avoided the whole ordeal. But once again, it’s hard to admit that. Sadly, until we are willing to recognize the truth, we are liable to make the same mistakes over and over again.

How can we guard against this? We can take a stand and decide that we will hold ourselves completely responsible for our actions, no matter what. Have no excuses. Once we take away the possibility of attributing blame elsewhere, we will naturally work harder to make sure our decisions are the right ones. Cut off sources of retreat, and the incentive to succeed dramatically increases.

To summarize, bad luck isn’t as common as a bad choice. This invites us to focus more on our decisions and actions. The extent to which we are willing to be accountable for every single one of our actions will ultimately determine how much we grow and learn from our own shortcomings. Just like getting over an addiction, the first step is to admit there is a problem. The first step to learning from our mistakes is to admit we made them, instead of blaming the intern, bad luck, the rain, the law, etc. If we do this, we will be sure to grow, learn, and put ourselves in the best position to succeed.